March 30, 2006

Strove hard for stephanie

Smaller town newspapers, I love 'em! One supplement of one issue of one such, and there's plenty to enjoy. Check it out (The Hitavada, Nagpur, March 22):

Headline reads: Akola MC betters of encroachers, fences land for parking scheme.

MC means Municipal Corporation. Apart from that, one week later I am still trying to fathom what "betters of encroachers" might mean. Anyone?

***

There's a procession for peace winding its way through Naxalite-dominated areas of Gadchiroli district. It started from a village called Asaralli, and what, according to a news item I'm looking at, is special about Asaralli?

This: it has a "22-year-old young sarpanch" called Damodhar Sidam.

In 20 years, Sidam will be "42-year-old middle-aged sarpanch".

In 40 years, Sidam will be "62-year-old old sarpanch".

At some point, he will be "xx-year-old dead sarpanch".

***

A report about a ceremony says: Dr Ashok Kamat ... Vice Chancellor Dr Pankaj Chande, Vijaya Shewalkar were chiefly present.

A report about another ceremony says: Headmaster and teachers were prominently present.

Very good. And who were chiefly or prominently absent? Who were not-so-chiefly or not-so-prominently present?

***

Several items about various seminars and camps held here and there.

One item ends thus: Ananta Bahakar worked hard.

Another ends thus: Those who worked hard are Ramkrishna Harse, Manohar Lothe and others.

A third ends thus: Students strove hard for success the programme [sic].

A fourth ends thus: Nandram Bhusum, Suresh Dhikar, Ramu Chimote and others strove hard for success of the workshop.

A fifth ends thus: Nandu Lakhe, Rajesh Pinjarkar and bank employees worked hard.

Clearly, lots of people worked hard at lots of things. How delightful that a paper should take note.

***

And my favourite, far and away. From Hinganghat, a correspondent reports: Bicycle thefts are on the rise in the town in the recent past ... It may be recalled that thieves had lifted stephanie and a new cycle [two months ago].

Yes, but at least they didn't lift Katy and Nancy and Margo and Tricia! Let's be thankful for small mercies, shall we?

3 comments:

Champu said...

Indore mein ek shaam ka tabloid hai ... name 'Prabhat Kiran' !!!

Anonymous said...

HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHa

Cool shit!

Unknown said...

LOL !! This was one hilarious post!! Dilip, youre awesome.. . :)